Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in Regina's LiveJournal:

Friday, July 23rd, 2004
11:55 am	SERE Part 2 ~don't turn away ~ don't give in to the pain~ They were supposed to go to a what!!! Surely she had not heard correctly, a joint meeting between the Camarilla and the Sabbat to discuss what was to be done with those idiots in San Antonio? ~don't try to hide though they're screaming your name~ Her family was in an uproar, some determined to go, some determined to go far, far away. She personally liked Vivienne's idea of a beach and drinks in coconuts. Regina's head snapped around when she heard her husband announce his intention to attend if Richard did so. "You are not going anywhere without me" They were not pleased, but could not argue with the 'the family stay's together' rule. ~don't close your eyes God knows what lies behind them~ The concert was the first thing for that evening. The room was beautiful, her family was beautiful, and the music would make angels cry. She started the evening off with 'Cabaret' a fitting song for a night that would most likely end in death and bloodshed. Alejandro and Layla sang "you are my home' tears fell from her roman's eyes as she quietly sang the words to him...he was...her home, her love..her everything... Regina returned to the stage for "my immortal" a song of loss and heartbreak.. Then Alejandro took the stage, his voice soard as he began the opening bars of "into the fire", he was joined by Aramis, and at her urging by Richard...then she and Layla came in on the descant, the five voices weaving and soaring...or were they just children whistling to scare away the darkness. ~don't turn out the light never sleep never die~ It was time for the meeting, the venetian would rather be anywhere BUT in that room. She had not told her family about her encounter with the sabbat...she probably should have, but it was too late now. They entered the room and her heart stopped, she started shaking, all she could do was keep her memories behind tight shields so as not to upset her loves.... ~fallen angels at my feet whispered voices at my ear~ Sabbat...cainites...the nightmare of the camarilla. The were evil, oh, she well knew how evil. Had they not proved that to her when she was in their hands? She had been much younger then, with the arrogance that comes from youth, and the belief in immortality. They had attacked her chosen city, and she had fought against them. But she was not a fighter, she was a courtesian, and they sensed her weakness. When she fell, they did not leave her there, but took her with them... She had learned of pain when she was taken to punish Layla so long ago...but this...this went beyond pain, beyond agony...beyond sanity. Regina shook her head, and returned to the present, still afraid, but bolstered by her family surrounding her and her husband's presence in her head. ~death before my eyes lying next to me i fear~ Then...he was gone. That beloved presence, that had not left her mind since they had rediscovered each other...was gone. She could only think of one reason such would happen, and her body went rigid in shock. She felt Richard's strong presence beside her...Vivienne, Layla, Aramis...then a new voice in her mind, Isobel had brought the web back up that linked them together..but no Villarel...no Vil... The justicar approached their table and asked her what was wrong...from somewere she heard a voice explaining a death...she did not recognize it as her own voice...she did not hear his answer, so lost in her grief. they were moving, she was helped into a vehicle, and she felt Richard's arms around her... they traveled for a time...then stopped, Richard laid her down on a bed somewhere and she simply curled into a ball... ~she beckons me shall i give in upon my end shall i begin forsaking all i've fallen for i rise to meet the end "can't you just use the door" She heard Alejandro's voice, speaking words that were so familiar..."Not when I need to see my wife" his voice rumbled across the room and she froze....he was here? she flew across the room only to be stopped by his commanded "do not touch me" he spoke of his clan, and danger, and of being unclean...a mouth opened up on his shoulder and he burned it away...and all he talked about was leaving her. "Villarel Belsarious don't you dare leave me" Regina's voice was low...and it shook, but the intention was there...he could not leave her...she did not think she could bear it... to be continued... (Comment on this)
11:35 am	SERE Part 1 She thought about it as the car moved down the road to the malkavian ball. Why were they going to this thing again? Granted, it was that time of the year again, when all of the kindred of the South East gathered together for Symposiums, and Salons, but this year was different. This year there were things going on that no one understood, that could mean the end of their kind. ~catch me as i fall ~ say you're here and it's all over now~ As she sat, surrounded by her family, Regina decided that she had never been to a more dreadful affair. What on earth was the malkavian thinking when she planned this? ~speaking to the atmosphere ~ no one's here and i fall into myself~ Izzy, Isobel, once lover of her husband, now trusted friend (and though she knew it not) heart-sister. She did not get to see her often enough these nights, so being able to spend time with her made the tedium vanish, hers was a bright and shining light, even though she was deeply troubled. ~this truth drives me into madness ~i know i can stop the pain if i will it all away~ The clan meeting was, as usual, a complete waste of time no one knew who was hosting it, and an unbelievably arrogant group of toreador wandered in and out, Regina decided that Isobel had the right idea and followed her out when she left. ~don't turn away ~ don't give in to the pain~ She returned to the ball, and the rest of the family joined them soon after. She took a moment to admire them all. Layla in her corset and luschious coat, Alejandro is his blinding white, Richard in his black, which so suited her own ensamble, Aramis hidden by his cloak, Vivienne, Johnathan, her family surrounded her, and for the moment all was well. ~don't try to hide ~ though they're screaming your name~ That moment was shattered when Joseph simply dissapeared, taken by someone or something. ~don't close your eyes ~ God knows what lies behind them~ He was returned, with a disturbing story of werewolves, and Kieley, and the compulsion to kill four of the rose. Nigel fixed the compulsion part, sometimes it's nice to have elder ventrue friends...well, as long as they like you. ~don't turn out the light ~ never sleep never die~ The one they called Enigma entered the room, he was tall, and dressed all in black. She watched him as others gathered around him, and tried to remember what she had heard about this mysterious other. She had not heard that he was kindred, using the powers of her blood, Regina tried to see what type of being he might be... ~i'm frightened by what i see ~ but somehow i know that there's much more to come~ MERDA!! the blindness hit her like a sudden shock to the system, one moment she was seeing the world through Auspex, all colors and shifting lights and auras, then the next she was blind. She felt her family gather close around her, Richard's hands on hers guiding her to a chair, her sister to one side of her, Vivienne behind...watching..guarding. Her husband was not pleased, ok...that was an understatement, Vill's voice in her mind was damned pissed, but Richard calmed him when Alejandro brought word that this was temporary and would pass. Her family would never let her forget this. ~immobilized by my fear ~ and soon to be blinded by tears~ They left the gathering shortly after that, they gathered together for comfort, and to hear what this new toreador had to tell them, Regina simply curled up on the bed and whispered his name "Villarel Belsarious". She knew he had arrived when she heard Alejandro complaining about him never using the door like normal people, and strong arms lifed and cradled her, everything that had gone before no longer mattered now that he was here, and she was in his arms.. ~i can stop the pain if i will it all away~ (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, September 8th, 2003
9:54 pm	OC: ok...lets see if I can keep this all straight seeing as I haven't been on line in forever.. IC: Her hair flew about her, as if it was the fire of her nickname, as Regina twirled across the floor of the studio. The Venetian Rose was not happy, and was trying to work some of her anger and worry out in dance. She had to do something, all of the cherished in the mansion were avoiding her like the proverbial plague since her husband had off and dissapeared. She knew he was fine, she could tell that through the link, but he was blocking her, and the link was very muted, only enough that she could tell he WAS ok...not enough for her to get anything else out of him. So instead of breaking anything else in the house, or alienating the cherished any further, she danced, danced until the bloodsweat stood out on her face. The feeling of vague unease that had been plaguing her suddenly flared up as she was executing a particuarly hazardous spinning jump, she landed badly, and if she had been paying any attention at all would have heard the audible "snap" as her ankle fractured. She collapsed to the ground, and tried to sort out what the hell was happening through the pain. Layla...something was wrong with Layla...but what?? and who??? The link between her and her husband flared up as well, and she felt his rage, and his beast pushing through him. "Merda" she breathed out, overwhelmed by the emotions battering her, unable to move. She blocked them out just enough to function again, and screamed for the cherished.... Boston..she was needed at her sister's side... (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 7th, 2003
3:23 pm	The toreador stood in the garden, her arms wrapped tightly around herself. Her thoughts were chaotic, troubled. She had brushed close to death that evening, her death. The prince of this city was greatly angered with her, she had danced a thin wire above a pit of total destruction when meeting with him. She was immeasureably grateful for her training back in Venice as this prince was pleased by the trappings of royalty, and that alone, as well as her quick tounge had kept her head off of the chopping block. She sighed, She did not truly believe that Aramis had meant her harm, she thought he had just not fully thought things through, or anticipated his prince's reaction to his news. She was safe for now, free to come and go to Orlando as long as she found a primogen to speak for her, free to work on the Art Center she, Chrysanthos, and Joseph had just begun, free to return here to the home she shared with her beloved. How long that safety would last she did not know, she would have to dance the wire very carefully from here on out, as the prince and his agents would be watching her even more closely now. She smiled to herself as she heard his footsteps behind her, Villarel, her beloved. He was very worried, she could feel him down their link while she was meeting with the prince, his concern and love had strengthened her to go through that ordeal. She turned and flowed into his arms, drawing strength from his embrace. "you are well Bella?" he asked, his deep voice rumbling up from his chest where her cheek rested. "Si, I was just thinking, I must need be very careful around your prince, amante...he is not pleased, but I think he is appeased for now" She thought of that as she rested in her husband's arms, the prince was appeased...for now...but how long would that turn out to be? (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 17th, 2003
3:39 pm	Merda..it was all falling to pieces..." Those were her thoughts as she dove into the pool to try to work off some of her frustrations. She arched through the air, hit the water, and kept going until she hit the bottom. One nice thing about being a kindred was one really did not need to breathe anymore, so she stayed there on the bottom of her husbands luxurious pool and tried to sort some things out in her head. Her sister had tried to kill herself. Actually, Regina understood that part the most. She knew how much strain Layla had been under this past year. Regina's beloved Villarel had saved her, snatched her from the very rays of the dawn. She sent a brief pulse of love down the link between them, and got one in return. He was the constant in her life, her strength, the reason she herself did not flirt with waiting out for the sunrise. Aramis and Alejandro. that was where her understanding started to break down. Something was going on there with the two of them that she did not understand at all. Something that had to do with Alejandro being away from the family so much, and so distant when he was with them. Aramis acting so very strange lately. and she had lost her temper with both of them, said things she should not have because she too was scared and angry...but she did not know what to do to fix the rift that was breaking this little family apart. She pushed off from the bottom and began to slowly swim back and forth, making each movement perfect, concentrating on physical things instead of the mental ones she could do nothing about. Layla, Villarel, Aramis, Alejandro...their faces floated in and out of her thoughts as she tried to make sense of what was going on...she stopped swimming and just floated, slowly spinning in the current from the waterfall. she looked up and saw Saralina standing on the edge of the pool with her arms crossed. She did not look happy. With a mental sigh Regina swam up through the water and propped her arms on the edge of the pool. "I really wish you would not do that floating thing on the bottom of the pool Mistress Regina, you look like either a demented mermaid or a particuarly well preserved drowning victim" Saralina commented in a dry tone of voice. Perhaps it was her exaustion and general stress level, but the toreador found that alltogether too amusing, and was caught unaware by an attack of the giggles. When she finally composed herself she looked up again to see a slight smile on the cherished's face. Much better, there has been far too much angst in this household, tis past time for healing laughter, song and love to reign once again. You are the lady of this house, and that is your purview, not mine. Regina felt a smile curve her lips for only the second time this evening as she took in Saralina's impassive figure. "you know cara...you may be right, that may be exactly what we need." as she said that, her exceptional hearing picked up the sound of her sister breaking into song. "and I think my sister may have thought the same thing" She vaulted out of the pool and stopped for a moment before going into change. "thank you cara...you remind us of what is important" she gave the astonished woman an impulsive hug before sprinting into the house to change. Once dry and clothed again, Regina quietly made her way to the small studio where her sister sang. She listened from the hallway, in an alcove that was seemingly just for this purpose. Layla worked her way through an impressive repetoire of songs, that ran the gamut from sad, to happy, to raging to tender, and she only stopped when her voice became ragged. By that time the Venetian Rose felt the press of dawn weighing on the house. She watched Aramis lift Layla in his arms and carry her to the master bedroom, and waited until the two of them were settled down in Layla's nest on the floor before silently slipping in and joining them for the day's rest, her arms curved around Aramis and her hand clutching her sister's...she wondered where Alejandro and Villarel were? (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 10th, 2003
1:16 pm	Merda. Regina muttered to herself as she tried to work out the steps of her latest choreography. She could not be happy with this piece at this point, and was on the verge of scrapping what she had and starting over. Things were not going well on the homefront, she thought to herself as she tried a row of pique turns across the floor. She stopped, and dropped into a stretch to try and think things out so maybe they would quit ruining her dance. Alejandro, he did not want any of them to go up to NYC, he was worried they were in danger, which, all things considered, was a valid concern seeing as Rowan had gotten nabbed by that Nyte person thinking it was Regina herself. Fortunately they had let her go unharmed, although she would have to remember to have Villarel check her out to make sure there were no hidden surprises for her. As if a thought had conjured her, Rowan stepped into the studio with a costume for fitting. "I think i've got this one right Regina, try it on and let me know what you think" her soft voice broke into the toreador's thoughts. Regina took the costume from her cherished and admired it, it was beautiful, and the very essence of the dying swan. They had decided to stay away from the traditional white for this piece, and instead go with the black. The skirt was full and romantic, and the feather's and beadwork on the bodice were esquisite. 'It's beautiful dearest, lets see how it fits' She slipped it on over her practice clothes, and did a few experimental turns about the room. The skirt floated like a dream, it was extremely comfortable, and the beadwork and jewels on the bodice sparkled in the studio lighting. 'it's perfect Rowan, you've outdone yourself this time' Regina turned and smiled at the woman beside her, one who could be her twin they looked so much alike. 'How is the dance going so far?' she asked. 'Not as well as I had hoped" Regina replied, "but i'm working on it...it'll get there...eventually, they always do' With that she smiled and handed the costume back to her cherished, who took it and herself out of the room while making comments about strengthning seams and adding even more trim. Regina smiled to herself as her cherished ran off to do her magic on the costume. She still did not believe she had found her. She started stretching again as she thought back over the memory. It had been in Russia of all places, Regina had been taking class from one of the great choreographer's there, and had been told again and again how much she looked like one of the costume designers on staff. Finally her curiosity was piqued enough for her to seek the girl out herself. She found her in the costume shop, buried underneath the great theater, and they were right, they looked enough alike to be twins, long curly flame colored hair, emerald green eyes, slim dancers figures...the resemblance was uncanny. Their noses and chins were a little different but other than that, they were mirror images. Regina finally stopped looking at the girl and paid attention to the costume she was working on. It was Aurora's dress for the upcoming production of Sleeping Beauty, a part Regina herself had always loved. It was breathtaking, the use of color and line, the hand worked trim on the bodice, everything about it was esquisite, and then and there the toreador had decided that she needed another cherished. She spent time with Rowan for the next year, finding out everything there was to know about the girl. She was an orphan, and from Italy studying here with the great costumers in Russia. She held no ties to anyone, and eventually, Regina made her, her cherished, and they had been together ever since. With Regina, Rowan was able to create the costumes she had only dreamed about, without the interference of a director or choreographer. In Rowan, Regina had found a true friend, someone uninvolved in the politics of the kindred, who only worried about art...and all it entailed. She shook her head and started working on her dance again...turn after turn, step after step, things seemed to finally be falling in place, then once again she got stuck as before. Apparently she had not sufficently dealt with the issues within her family. Layla, Alejandro, Aramis, Villarel...their names and faces twirled through her head as she was twirling across the hardwood floor. She was concerned with all of them. Layla, a series of beautiful and graceful turns and leaps across the stage.. she was trying to salvage the family name, now thrown even closer to scandal by her idiot childe's working against Tess Parker...Goddess why had Cassandra released her? they all knew she was no where ready to be back in Kindred society, salon or no salon...so now the Draconis were under scrutiny yet again... Alejandro, more stacatto movement along with the music, strong, but somehow hesitant..worried about all of them, trying to find out why the sabbat wanted Regina so badly now, playing the complicated politics of New York, but promising to come down to Orlando to visit..soon. Aramis, strong movements, quick jumps, lightning fast spins, it was a dangerous game he was playing with the elders. She only prayed that it would all work out, it was time to talk to the contessa again. Villarel, the foundation of the piece, the underlying strength of the grande jete's that made them look so easy, the thirty two pirouettes that were usually the end of Odile's dance, but now transferred to Odette...eternal, a circle returning upon itself, the foundation upon what all other things on her life rested. Her family..those she loved, cared for, worried over and if need be would give up her life for...all twined together into one, a single pose held for longer than humanly possible, all movement stopped, all of her weight, and all of the dance, held at the point of one foot touching the ground, the rest of her arched into the air as a bird in flight, then slowly...so very slowly, drifting down to rest... Regina started with suprise, the dance was choreographed, all that remained was to clean it up a bit and it would be performance ready. She headed to the studio showers humming to herself, and wondering if Villarel was back from his business trip yet... 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Monday, June 2nd, 2003
7:28 pm	Saturday Night Regina sat by the lake and listened to the 'Symphony under the stars" and thought over the events of the last few weeks. He family was not altogether pleased with her. She sighed as she thought of their reaction to her marriage to Villarel. Layla had been supportive, as she knew she would be, her sister understood what finding him again meant to her, the men in her life however, were not quite so understanding. They would understand in time she hoped. They just needed to get to know Vill better... Vill..Villarel,her beloved, her husband. A husband, something she never thought she would ever have. Vill...someone she had htought was long dead and ash many centuries ago. He had returned to her, he had asked her to marry him, and understood that she could not abandon her family . She had met his family and found them absolutely delightful, he had met her family, and well...Layla had been delightful, Alejandro and Aramis would adjust in time she hoped. She lost herself in the music as it floated across the water... Sunday Night Tonight was court, only held every three months in Orlando. she had met with Odon earlier in the week about the matter of Acknowledgement. She had visited him on his lovely boat and he had assured her that he would speak for her at court this month. Court was the usual evening of political and social maneuverings. Prince Maelstrom was nto pleased with his reception in Prince Rico's lands. Odon had done...something to Aramis so he would not challenge his seat as primogen, and Vill...Vill was very angry at the 'punishment' of the tremere that night. Regina herself did not understand what possible good it would do to put the man in those odd stocks and put him on public display. The evening wound to a close, and the gathered kindred each went their seperate ways. Regina bid goodbye to Callista, Crysanthos and Prince Maelstrom. She then waited for that familiar touch on her mind. ~~Beloved?~~ ~~I am here amante~~ ~~ you did not leave with those of your clan?~~ ~~No my love, I wished to spend the eve in your arms~~ a wave of love washed over her at that thought, and suddenly he was there and she was in his arms as she was meant to me. the politics and machinations of their fellow kindred no longer mattered to either of them, as they retired to Vill's mansion and forgot about the rest of the world for a while... (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 7th, 2003
7:16 pm	Roses and Dreams She rocked back and forth in the corner of her room. Tears fell unheeded down her face, as she relived the memories, hers, Layla's, Alejandro and now Aramis'. She was trapped and cound not find her way free of the whips...always the whips. Regina screamed when she felt someone touch her shoulder. She did not recognize her sister's soft voice at first, but Layla had seen her like this before, perhaps not as bad, but she knew how to deal with it. She talked to her gently in Italian until she calmed enough to be rational. She relaxed into her sister's embrace, and winced when Alejandro left the room. She told Layla everything of Sunday night, except when Aramis hit her...she did not need to know that, but she knew anyway, somehow, she already knew. And she did not blame either one of them for it. She did not think Regina had failed her by failing to protect Aramis from the Contessa. Regina heard Alejandro speaking to Aramis of a promise....and she and Layla immediately moved to the master bedroom. More words were exchanged, but Regina only had eyes for Aramis, she had heard him breathe. She tentatively reached a tendril of thought out to his mind, prepared to draw away in an instant if things turned badly, but they did not. She could hear the pounding coming from the stone walls within his mind. He was trying to escape. She did the only thing she could...she sang to him in his mind to let him know she was there.. A New Life - What I wouldn't give To have a new life! One thing I have learned As I go through life: Nothing is for free Along the way! "Amante...Aramis..." she whispered in his mind along with the song.. A new start - That's the thing I need, To give me new heart - Half a chance in life To find a new part, Just a simple role That I can play. A new hope - Something to convince me To renew hope! A new day, Bright enough To help me find my way! "Come back to us Amante...we need you..." A new chance - One that maybe has A touch of romance. Where can it be, The chance for me? A new dream - I have one I know That very few dream! I would like to see That overdue dream - Even though It never may come true! A new love - Though I know there's no Such thing as true love - Even so, Although I never knew love, Still I feel that One dream is my due! "Aramis...we love you...we miss you...come back" The pounding was stronger now, and the walls crumbling beneath his onslaught.. A new world - This one thing I want To ask of you, world - Once! - Before it's time To say adieu, world! One sweet chance to Prove the cynics wrong! A new life - More and more, I'm sure, As I go through life, Just to play the game -, And to pursue life - Just to share its pleasures, And belong! - That's what I've been here for, All along! Each day's A brand new life! The walls fell down, and Aramis filled his mind once more, his eyes opened... Regina and Alejandro left the husband and wife for a few moment's of privacy...they went into the living room where Alejandro immediately lost himself in his PDA, and Regina curled into a chair in the corner of the room... Layla and Aramis rejoined them shortly....Aramis with a present for Alejandro. "Gracias Hermano" Those words seeemed to throw Layla into a rage, "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?" she screamed at Alejandro, and she reminded him of the love they ALL felt for him.... "I....I wanted you to rest Regina...My dreams...they would disgust you" The red haired rose looked at him with tears in her eyes..."your dreams would disgust me? Alejandro, I already carry your dreams within me...Yours, and Layla's, and mine, and now Aramis'....I carry all of our dreams...what does that make me?" She fell into her sister's arms... Eventually calm prevailed once again. Aramis carried Layla to bed, and Regina led Alejandro...they gathered together for comfort in the master bedroom. None of them wanting to be alone. Regina lay, secure in the circle of her family's arms, still afraid, afraid of her dreams, afraid to sleep. So she would guard theirs. When she was keeping their dreams at bay, her's could not find her. So she lay there, pretending to sleep so Aramis would not be upset, and when Alejandro whimpered, and Layla cried, she sang softly in their minds of sunny fields, and moonlit canals...and peace...and love.... (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 6th, 2003
9:24 pm	Splintered Minds...Part Three The gathering was over and she was tired. It had been a long evening, the dance more tiring than she had remembered, or perhaps it was she who was out of practice? "One more stop cheri, then we will go home." Aramis' voice was warm as he guided her into the gallery. The rustle of silk told Regina they were not alone. "Contessa, why are you here?" She felt Aramis' uneasyness with Dixie through the mental bond they shared, felt his tension...but did not understand why. "ah yes..that is where I remember you from...you were the blood doll.." Dixie's words fell upon Aramis almost as if they were a physical blow. The memories they brought to the front of his mind were not pleasent...Isabella...that was where he had seen the mask before... Dixie continued walking past them, Regina felt Aramis stiffien and turn. "What?" The malkavian made no answer, until he'd moved after her. "What did you say?" Dixie smirked and he snapped, he grabbed her and raised her into the air. She did not seem concerned. "Kneel" Regina could feel the force in that one word, and Aramis released her and kneeled. Dixie and Regina were circling each other like sharks who smelled blood in the water. Suddenly Aramis' hand flashed out, catching the Countessa's wrist in his grip. Regina could tell by the tension in his mind and body that he was seriously contemplating crushing Dixie's wrist. "Do Not Hurt Me" the words backed up with her power. His desire to hurt her made his entire body tremble. Regina laid her hand on his her soft voice murmuring caution "amante" Aramis released her wrist, and Dixie allowed him to rise. Regina reinforced the barriers in his mind, she did not think this encounter was over by a long shot. The Countessa turned, contempt clear in every line of her body, as if he were beneath her notice. It was too much for Aramis to bear, Regina felt his mind go and stepped between him and Dixie before he could attack the Malkavian. She knew when she did so that she was putting herself in the line of fire, but that was of no account. The countessa would retailiate if attacked, and she definitely did NOT want that to happen, she had tangled with Malkavians before, and to take on an elder was not a good idea at any time. Aramis only saw an obsticle between him and his objective, Regina could see in his mind that he did not recognize her. She stood through the first blow, although she did rock back when his hand cracked across her face breaking her nose and bringing tears of blood to her eyes. She could not withstand the second. It crashed her against the wall to crumple in a heap upon the floor. Then Dixie turned in respons to the attack and hell flowed fron her into Aramis and through their link into Regina. She screamed when the onslaught of memories began. The whips hitting Aramis' back in his mind, overlaying the whips hitting her own back from her own nightmares, the crack as Layla's hip was broken, Alejandro's beatings by the mother superior. All of those images welled up into her mind and she could not move, could not breathe, could not even scream, she could only lie curled up on the floor and tremble, small whimpers escaping her. She did not know what else happened until she felt Aramis' arms around her bringing her back to herself. She clung to him as if she were drowning in truth instead of just in images. She screamed when the memories hit again. She was aware of the outside world again when Aramis lifted her into his arms. She heard the Contessa insist one of them accompany her in payment for his attack. Regina felt her own mask slip into place. Teh mask which had allowed her to survive the courts of Venice, that had made it possible for her to live through her kidnapping. That would make it possible for her to convince Aramis to stay behind while she went with the Contessa. He told her to stay behind, she refused, she assured him through the link that she would be fine, that Dixie had no reason to hurt her, but every reason to hurt him. "I will be fine Amante" her soft voice cut through the tension in the room. She left him there and went with the malkavian, calling Picard to ensure Aramis made it home before dawn. Regina simply listened as Dixie explained why she did what she had to Aramis, She thanked her for her hospitality, refused her offer of companionship, and retired to the room to which she was shown. The mask stayed in place ever in the bedroom. She did not sleep, to sleep would be to dream, and she did not know if her mind would survive such a dream. So she lay down and entered the trance she used when she was blocking Alejandro's dreams. The thought of him proved to be too much for her, an she curled into a ball and cried. The sun set and she rose. She had healed the damage to her nose, but the ribs that had cracked when she hit the wall would have to wait until she had a chance to feed. She made the appropriate pleasentries to Dixie from behind the mask of the courtesian, but she felt the mask slipping. She had to et home beor eshe completely fell apart. She had Picard pick her up at the gallery where she had left Aramis. She found out from him just how badly Aramis was off...She felt her mask slip a little more. He pulled up in front of hte house and helped her out of the car, the mask slipped another fraction, she could feel the panic welling inside her and ruthlessly thrust it back down. when she got into the house, she could not keep the mask up any longer and she ran to her room, desperate to reach that safety before she fell apart completely. She retreated into a corner of the room and once again curled in....she began to shake and the mask and her control slipped, Crimson tears slipped unheeded down her face as she became lost in her...their memories... (Comment on this)
8:57 pm	Splintered Minds...Part Two She glided through the gathering of kindred like a swan upon the surface of a pond. Only the faintest ripples marking where she had been. It had been many years since she had last attended a gathering of this type, but she had not forgotten the moves of the dance. She moved in and out of the patterns as one who was born to the politics of the camarilla. The dance moved her towards Odon and his companions, and briefly they exchanged pleasentries and moved on. the music changed and became darker as she saw a face from her past. The Contessa was what Regina knew her as so long ago in Venice. Now she went by the name of Dixie Morningstar. She had not changed. Her tounge was as sharp as ever, no doubt sparks would still fly were she and Layla to be in the same room again. A circumstance Regina would try hard to keep from occuring. The music of the dance once again resumed a lighter note and Regina moved back into the pattern. She dallied a bit with Aramis' new Cherished, and was thoroughly confused by him..something to be puzzled over another day. A man brushed against her and with the small metallic note of what he dropped, the dance was brought to a halt. Aramis gracefully bent to pick it up and he held out his hand to show it to her. The crest lying upon his hand was not one she had ever expected to see again. Villarel? someone she had loved once, but now no more than a memory long gone. Why was his crest here of all places? She looked up at Aramis, confusion in her eyes. "What?" The man returned before she could answer, he held out his hand to Aramis, "I believe I dropped that earlier, my mistress would be most displeased were I not to return with it". Aramis gave the cherished the piece of jewlery and informed him that Madame Rosso had businees with his mistress. They followed him to what she assumed was the top of the building. "Misress Ananya will be with you shortly. Regina sent a questioning tentril of thought to Aramis, in return she got the impression that all was not as it seemed. She was ushered into a study. The woman before her was tall, well over six feet. The bones in her face strong, and her eyes....she saw Villarel's eyes looking at her out of this strange woman's face. They talked of ancestors, and memories, and things that ancestor had told Ananya. Regina did not believe her for a moment. She did not know how this had happened. But she knew this person sitting in front of her, and she knew she was not some descendant of her once beloved. No one can know, no one can know who or what I once was, no one can afford to be tied to me, the dangers are too great. Regina smiled, and let her feelings shine in her eyes, "no one will think it amiss though, if you and I were to become friends, women are expected to do that from time to time" Ananya smiled in return, "perhaps...but now you must go...thank you" Regina gave her hand one last squeeze, "Know this, I loved your ancestor very much Ananya, that is something that never faded, and never will" with that she left the room and rejoined Aramis in the gathering, the love shining out of her once lover's eyes a cherished memory... (Comment on this)
8:10 pm	Sunday night...Part One of Splintered Minds She arrived at the gathering place in Orlando and immediately found Aramis. He was glad to see her as always but something was 'off' he was acting very strangely. He waited until they had a small bit of privacy then stopped. "It's Alejandro Cheri" he murmured. Regina was gripped with a moment of pure panic. "His sire has returned" Her panic was swept away by the rush of rage that filled her mind. "Alexandria" She hissed the name, her eyes glowing with green flame. "yes, he is with her, he spoke of a debt, and he was wearing his silver" Regina growled, the sound almost to low to be heard. "we must get him back, he can not remain in her clutches. I have walked in his dreams Aramis, she is a monster, she will break him if it amuses her" "I made him a promise cheri, that if she ever got ahold of him, I would take care of him". "Layla and I will go amante to see what we can accomplish. we can get out without bloodshed I think, I will leave for New York tomorrow." With that said, she took his arm and they rejoined the dance of the gathering... (Comment on this)
8:05 pm	Time...about a week ago. She lay in the bed, alone, and stared at the ceiling. She was sleeping alone this eve, and not by choice. Alejandro and she had quarreled over it. He insisting that she get her rest, and she adamant that his dreams be kept at bay. She did not have the fight in her that night to argue further, so she agreed and sought her rest. But that rest would not come. She lay there, and stared at the ceiling. She was afraid to sleep. Alejandro was not the only one to have nightmares, when she was not keeping his at bay her own were free to seek her out and lately they had been getting worse. Much much worse, as if something really bad were about to happen. She finally slept, and the dreams, and pain began..... (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 27th, 2003
5:56 pm	Regina paced the floor as she awaited Alejandro's return, she should not have let him go alone to the Connecticut court, but he had insisted that everything would be fine. She was so exausted from keeping his nightmares at bay that she did not argue the point. Now she wished she had, she hated not knowing what was going on. She heard the car pull up outside and rushed to the door, JB and Shea were just bringing Alejandro up the steps, and he did not look....well. A moment of perfect understanding passed between Regina and Carlos. Carlos swept Alejandro up in his arms and started back for the bedroom, while Regina reassured JB and Shea that everything would be fine, and that they would take good care of him. After they left, she followed Carlos back to the bedroom, where he was just settling Alejandro into bed. "He's been muttering the Act of Contrition..over and over" Carlos said as he raised worried eyes to Regina. "Something happened tonight that was just too much, merda I should have been there!!" Regina replied, then sat down in the chair next to the bed and took one of Alejandro's cold hands in hers. "O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins..." Alejandro's litany was enough to break a harder heart than Regina's. She deftly slipped into his mind, the scene she saw there, were almost identical to the ones his nightly daymares were of...The cross beating down on him, whips, alternating images of the Mother Superior and his sire Alexandra. He was young in his dreams, only a child, but what had been done to him was monstrous. She drew herself back into his present. There was a difference this time, a merchant kept alternating with the mother superior, he was holding something, dirt maybe? that he offered to Alejandro, as soon as he did that, the Mother Superior would come back, and the cross would swing down. ~~Enough of this amante~~ she wrapped herself around his trembling child form in his mind, as she gathered him into her arms in the world without. She blocked the blows, the merchant, the Mother Superior and Alexandra, and comforted him the best she could ~~You are safe here amante, no one can hurt you...you are safe, and you are loved~~ She sang to him then, both in and out of his mind a song of love...of peace...of happy childhoods and families regained, and as her voice filled the room and his mind he finally relaxed against her and settled into true sleep, a sleep that she would ensure was safe from any but the sweetest of dreams. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2003
6:10 pm	It had been a long flight, although she was getting used to the commute between New York and Florida. It had been a family gathering she was there for, but not a happy one. Layla's childe had screwed up, annoyed her sire, annoyed Anwar, annoyed just about everyone in the North East. She was acting like a spoiled immature mortal teenager. So they had all gone down to Tampa to meet with their Sire. Louis, he who had made the three of them, he who had taken care of her, and embraced her when Layla could not. He had decreed that the childe would be released no longer, she was to be unreleased to both Layla and Anwar, and merde hadn't that been a tense situation. Angelique had drawn steel in Louis' house. Layla had drawn as well in her sire's defence and Louis was NOT happy about it. Angelique had been offered two choices, be unreleased, or greater accounting. She chose to be unreleased, so now Layla had one more stress added to an already insanely hectic life. but now she was back in New York, at the brownstone, a place she was starting to think was 'home' it did not hurt that Alejandro was there, although she sorely missed Layla and Aramis. She walked in and saw him, hair in disorder, surrounded by papers and busily tapping away on the computer. She dropped her luggage and sighed. It was good to be off the plane, hopefully she could stay put for more than a few days this time. They passed the time talking to Aramis, Layla, and JB over that wonderful invention of the 'chat rooms' she could see over the camera that Aramis was exausted, and she did not for a moment believe that things had been quiet in Orlando last night. Layla was annoyed over something Anwar had said about her having two husbands, and Alejandro was upset as well. But then something unexpected happened, Alejandro turned to her, his beautiful dark eyes almost...puzzled. "Aramis has spoken with me about you...about some incorrect assumptions i've made lately". She froze, and watched him with wary eyes. She knew she loved him, heck...Aramis and Layla knew she loved him, but he seemed not to know, or not to return her feelings. He spoke to her of his past, and things he had done, and not done. ::he's trying to make me turn from him...why?:: she thought to herself. She found out that all Layla had really told him was that she too had been a courtesian back in Venice, and a little about the monster who had almost killed her. Regina stood, turned her back on Alejandro, and let her shirt fall from her shoulders. His indrawn breath told her that he had seen the hundreds of thin white scars that marred her back. 'Souviners' of her time in the hands of the monsters. "we are all scared Alejandro, some are on the skin, some are on the soul, but it does not matter to me" She put her shirt back on, and sat back down in the chair. Alejandro's eyes flicked to his computer, and something akin to pain flickered across his eyes. "Excuse me for a moment Regina. I must make a call" She nodded to let him know it was fine, and turned her attention to her own laptop. "Sooth him please love, I just can not deal with this tonight" Layla's words scrolled across her screen. While Layla was dealing with Anwar's comments just fine, they wounded Alejandro. She listened to his conversation with her sister, and chatted with Aramis of small things. When he hung up his phone she turned her attention back to him. "You do not mind that I love Layla?" Alejandro asked, his brows faintly knitted in confusion" "do you mind that she loves Aramis as well" Regina asked in turn. "no...i did once, but now, now we are friends, he is mi hermano." "As she is my sister. I love her as well Alejandro, otherwise would I have voluntarily bound myself to her?" He answerd her not with words, but with moving closer to her, and gently tracing her jawline with one gentle finger. He then leaned forward and tenderly kissed her. Regina twined her arms around his neck and looked up at him with shining eyes. "would the senora be offended if I offered to share her rooms tonight?" he asked, a smile on his face. "the senora would be more offended if you did not offer to share her rooms tonight" she replied with a smile of her own. He swept her up into his arms and grinned "well then, we should not offend you should we?" They headed down the hallway, soft murmurs filling the silence they left behind. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 15th, 2003
7:29 pm	Sunset...that was when her kind awoke. Regina woke for the evening and froze, she was being held? she had not woken in the arms of another since...longer than she could remember. Aramis...she relaxed at the thought, he had come last night to keep the nightmares at bay. She could remember being trapped in Layla's memories, then he had come and she had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep. Although she vaguely remembered a moment of panic before she recognized Aramis' touch on her mind. Thinking of that panic brought back memories that she would really rather forget though. She burrowed deeper into Aramis' arms and her thoughts turned to thoughts of her family. Mark, her uncle, first red listed, then loosed from those who held him...now hunted. She had mourned him for dead...but now... Scandal...possibly being called upon her house, all of her family in danger. Alejandro, even more melancholy than usual, he missed Layla she knew..but there was something else. Aramis, worried about all of them, and the rock that this little family rested upon. Layla...her sister, the one steady point in her world. She had gone to their sire with Anwar...she was worried about the possible scandal to the house....but there was something...something wrong... Merda... Her sister was up to something...she knew that as surely as the stars shone in the sky... She finally opened her eyes and looked over at the man who was holding her. Her sister's husband...one who knew Layla almost as well as she herself did...better in some ways. "Aramis..." she said softly "something's wrong" (Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 1st, 2003
8:57 pm	She lay in bed staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to overcome her. Tonight had been exausting but she could not seem to find solace in sleeps embrace. First there had been the fight. Alejandro had planned to leave the family so as to not cause tension between Layla and Aramis. He had also been planning on giving himself to some evil woman to acquire some information they needed. As Layla thought this was a "very bad idea" she was ready to do all she could to keep him from leaving. The tension in the house at that point had been almost unbearable. But the tension had broken, Alejandro had listened to her and Layla and would not be abandoning those who loved him. Aramis however had been deeply hurt by the words of his brother...so she had followed him out to the garden to reassure him that all was well...and...something had happened. she still wasn't sure what it was...they had joined their wounded hands..their blood flowing together..and she...she had confessed her love for him, her love for her sister's husband. and he had pulled her into his mind..and sung to her...a song she herself had been singing in the garden not too long ago.... and they had kissed, he had reasurred her of her place in the family...and his kiss had held promise...and hope. a hope she had not felt in too long to remember, his hand had caressed he face..but had not struck her... hope... They rejoined Alejandro and Layla, and she had confessed to her sister what had happened...and everything had been fine...Layla had projected love and reasurrance... Then the Ventrue showed up...in the middle of all this strange family drama...and she almost had to laugh at all of the undercurrants swirling around him as he sat in the living room... Alejandro had walked her to her room...leaving her at the door as usual...she sighed thinking of the spaniard...and her feelings for him..and Aramis..and her sister... It was all so confusing...but comforting at the same time... her rolling thoughts finally came to a standstill and she let sleep overtake her... :::pain, hurt, running, capture, the whip...the images flashed by in her dreaming mind with the speed of thought, and there was nothing..nothing she could do to change it...or to escape...::: She whimpered slightly in her sleep...the sound faint..but catching Aramis' ear as he strolled by her room on his way to his own... "nightmares?" yet one more thing she has in common with her sister...and with a thought he calmed her as he calmed Layla... ::: in the midst of the pain came a new player. Aramis, dressed as one of he Musketeers of old, he came in and scared away the demons, and held her shaking body untill she relaxed and settled into a sleep free from nightmares:: (Comment on this)
Monday, March 31st, 2003
6:20 pm	She sat in the garden singing quietly to herself.... ~~Sympathy, tenderness, Warm as the Summer, Offer me their embrace.~~ She thought of the family she had here, the sister that she loved... ~~Friendliness, gentleness, Strangers to my life, They are there in his face.~~ She thought of the Spaniard, and the feelings that she had discovered within herself for him...no matter now that they were not returned...She had discovered love..and it was to be treasured. ~~Goodness and sweetness And kindness Abound in this place~~ Her family, how they echoed the lyrics of the song...Layla - sister of her soul, Alejandro - the Spanish Rose, melancholy, and beloved, though he knew it not...and Aramis.... ~~I am in love With the things That I see in his face - It's a memory I know Time will never erase...~~ The last note of the song hung in the nighttime air, and her thoughts turned to Aramis, the husband of her sister, a rose with so much pain inside him sometimes it frightened her. perhaps she had been spending too much time within her sister's thoughts, because the feelings she was beginning to have for Aramis, were alarmingly like those she had for Alejandro. What kind of an emotional mess had she gotten herself into this time. She who had vowed never to love any save her sister, never to give her heart to any man...no matter who they were... but in such a short period of time, promises to herself made long ago had been broken, and she did not know if she would ever feel the same again. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 29th, 2003
7:07 pm	Regina heard male voices in the living room and wandered in to see what the family was up to tonight. "Family" a word that for so long only meant Layla, had now expanded to include Aramis and Alejandro as well. Aramis welcomed her with a glass of brandy, and the news that Alejandro would not be going to NYC right away, so it was only right to celebrate, it seemed they were going to do that by getting drunk tonight, how long had it been since she had been drunk? longer than she could remember clearly, although she did remember that the last time she was, Layla was involved. The thought of her sister brought a smile to her face. So they sat, and drank, and toasted, To Honor and Glory, to family and to the garden. the company was good, the brandy was good...she was content with life. The only thing missing was her sister, but she understood what it was when the muse was upon you. Aramis rose and wobbled his way back to the studio to join his lady, leaving her and Alejandro alone with the brandy. The talk turned more serious, to talk of sires, his in particular. That was one she was happy was no longer among them, otherwise she would have to kill her for what the bitch had put Alejandro though. When it was time to retire she discovered that she had indeed had too much to drink, she would only get back to her room if she crawled. Perhaps she would simply sleep here in the chair. The spanish rose would have none of that, he was determined to carry her to bed, who was she to argue. He lifted her in those strong arms like a knight of old, and carried her down the hallway to her own room. When he laid her on her bed, she held him there with one hand on his cheek, and she thanked him for his thoughtfullness. He pulled away slowly with a smile, and went to the door, turned and thanked her and dissapeared, closing the door behind him. She threw her pillow across the room in frustration, and uttered an oath in Italian. this love business was not fun. she pulled another pillow over and under her head, and fell into an uneasy sleep, one disturbed often that night with the dreams of hurt and pain that she could not always keep at bay. (Comment on this)
Friday, March 28th, 2003
1:33 am	Regina walked out into the garden singing quietly ~no more talk of darkness~ she heard Aramis behind her in the living room, ~forget your wide eyed fears~. She laughed then continued the song as she walked back into the shadows. She wasn't sure what was going to happen now. The current storm had passed, Alejandro had agreed to let her accompany him to New York for his protection, and she had no idea what would be waiting for them in the city. She could only hope that between the two of them they could handle it. She sang a few more lines from "Phantom" as she tried to sort out her thoughts and emotions. This whole love thing was very new to her. She loved her sister certainly, had since they had met. But she'd never actually fallen in love before, and she did not particuarly like it. It hurt. a lot. Layla said to relax, Aramis said to be patient, she wasn't sure she could manage both but she would certainly try, her pride had been battered enough today and she wasn't in any hurry to have it damaged any further. Layla said she was part of the family, Aramis said she was part of the family, Alejandro said she was part of the family...so why did she feel so alone? (Comment on this)